I love Paris, but sometimes it doesn't love me.

The first time I ever visited Paris I remember walking around the sunny boulevards and telling my friend that I could see myself coming back to live here one day.

Was it love at first sight? 

I'd never believed such a concept was possible, but I suppose my love for Paris comes pretty close. That being said, I of course knew a lot about Paris before I had ever even visited. So when I stepped out of the metro station after arriving for the first time, it wasn't exactly Shakespearian swoons through a fish tank at the first glance. 

First comes love a fantasy.

Ever the dreamer I always loved the idea of Paris. In French class at school I used to imagine Paris as a city that embodied fashion, culture, twinkly lights, pastries for breakfast and cheese and wine when feeling sophisticated. Not to mention, french fries and french men driving me around on the back of a vesper(LC on The Hills planted the seed of that dream). 

Then when I was a nineteen year old finally visiting Paris, I discovered the latter to be true and that people genuinely do walk around with a baguette poking out of their bags. I was inevitably sold at the prospect of moving here.

Second comes marriage being a dare devil. 

Here I am two years later, living my best Carrie Bradshaw-esque life surviving in this city thanks to the amazing friendships I've made along the way.   

Moving to Paris or any new city for that matter is like entering a new relationship. Therefore, you may experience some initial doubts or fears when you first arrive. 

This will include the odd culture shock that could make you rethink completely;

*is this really worth it? Am I ready to commit? 

You'll hopefully give it a chance and decide...

**I didn't just move all of my stuff hundreds of miles for nothing. Of course I am bloody well staying. 

Anyway, once you've breathed in the blissful new air, entering the honey moon phase comes pretty quickly. 

If you catch feelings fast, you'll even smell the cherry blossom amongst the traffic and pollution.

New people. New place. New job. 

New everything. 

It's foreign and exciting. 

You a free bird spreading those wings high in the sky and daring to delve into the unknown and it feels so exhilarating. Living your life like it's golden. 


Third comes a baby in a golden carriage overcoming and learning from the obstacles that life throws at you. 

Give it six months or so and the time will come when you now know your new city well enough. You're settled into the repetition of working everyday. It's possible that the spell of ecstasy may have started to ware off. Perhaps the euphoric nights of meeting new people and discovering magical places will too start to dwindle. 

But hey, what goes up, must come down. Living your best life in a place like Paris isn't exactly cheap either.  

So it's time to find a balance between living like a dare devil and living in the real world. 

Amongst stabilising working in a the city and maintaining a social life- reality strikes and you may be welcomed by an abundance of unfortunate big city truths. 

1. Living with rodents. 
2. Learning how to tackle creepy men. 
3. Avoiding pick pocketer's. 
4. Tolerating the crush of rush hour on public transport.
5. The smell of human urine in the streets. 
6. Crying in public. 

I love Paris, but sometimes it doesn't love me. That's the thing about love- you simply can't convince someone to feel it in the same way that you do.


Feelings aside, these are the types of things that would make you doubt living anywhere. Let alone in a capital city where the rent is sky high. 

Overcoming the obstacles and finding a sense of stability is what ultimately leads to living a balanced and happy lifestyle whether that be in a relationship with someone you love or when living in your favourite city. 

Nobody ever warns you of how to manage the shitty realities but when it comes down to it you have two options: you can either leave because it's not worth the stress or you can persevere and hope that you come out of the other side feeling even stronger. Kanye West eat your heart out*. 

If you decide to leave maybe you'll realise it wasn't true love after all and if you stay perhaps it's more likely that you're in it for the long term. 

Learning from experience about Paris specifically, I now know that it can be a hard city to live in - even more so as a foreigner. So as cliché as it sounds, if you're not in love with the place then you're not going to want to put up with it. 

Whenever I'm asked how long I'm staying in Paris, the answer in my head is always the same- I have no idea.

I have to admit that being forced to consider how long I'll stay does get me(over)thinking. Like most twenty something year olds, I find myself conflicted by the matter of what I want to do and what is the sensible thing to do?

Despite a little voice in the back of my head saying I should move back home and start saving money for my future. I know through my independent experiences of living abroad that I am gaining valuable lessons about life, love and most of all myself.  

Even though there have been times when I've considered packing my things and saying au revoir. For now, I haven't broken up with Paris yet and I still feel very much at home in the arms of this city.